It seems whenever you check your newsfeed these days another major corporation has announced a layoff. Ten thousand employees here, twelve thousand there. Companies which until now appeared untouched by the need to shed employees are letting people go by the thousands. Google, Amazon–it seems no one is safe anymore. No matter who is laying off, it seems like a very distant event–until it happens to you.
Losing a job or being laid off is right up there on “Life’s Major Stressors” list. There is good reason for that. Losing your job shakes your world to its core. Not only do you lose a job, but you also lose a sense of security and identity. Let’s be honest. We all talk about work/life balance, but for most of us work tends to overshadow most other aspects of life. Especially when we are fully engaged and enjoy what we do. We identify as our jobs. So, what do you when that has been ripped out from underneath you?
Most organizations have protocols in place to help laid-off employees. Those protocols are very useful, as far as they go. HR departments can help with insurance issues, 401K rollovers, and severance packages. They may even offer career counseling in some cases. Those are all very important issues but they are pieces of the external change a laid-off employee experiences. They have absolutely nothing to do with the psychological effects of being laid-off. And how well we recognize and react to those psychological effects determines how well we weather the transition that results from the physical event of being laid off.
I speak from experience. I was let go from an executive management position with a company I had served for over twenty-five years. While I appreciated the help with lining up short-term solutions for financial and practical issues, my organization gave no support to me or anyone else as we were suddenly faced with charting a new life course. As I spoke with others in the company who were let go, the range of emotions seemed endless. Fear, anger, sorrow, despair, confusion, and on a very few occasions, excitement. Reactions were all over the board and the organization did absolutely nothing to help the affected employees navigate this unexpected transition.
So just how do you survive a job loss? Or more importantly, how do you find a way to thrive after a job loss? When faced with a major change in your life–whether voluntary or involuntary—understanding the different components of the event can make all the difference. The change itself does not determine what happens to us. Change is physical event taking place outside of ourselves. Something over which we have little to no control. What we do have control over is how we transition to a new beginning, or a new normal. And it is this transition that determines whether we will thrive or merely survive when faced with a cataclysmic change such as a job loss.
The Stages of Transition
The period of transition can be broken down into three stages. The first is the need to put the job loss in perspective. The second requires seeking the necessary help and support. The third stage, which can be the most frightening or the most exciting, involves choosing a new path forward. It is important to remember these stages do not occur sequentially. Rather, it is best to consider them as fluid. You may make progress in one area and backslide in another. However, in the bigger picture you are moving forward and that is the crucial thing to remember.
Expand Your Perspective
As with most things in life, thriving after a job loss is rooted in perspective. Most of us spend much of our time on autopilot while we work. Our job requirements can easily overtake our days and much of our time is spent doing similar tasks or projects. Hence, patterns and habits are born and autopilot kicks in. We become comfortable in the status quo, so we seldom stop to consider what our job brings to our lives and identities.
Once those patterns are broken because of job loss, you have an opportunity to contemplate how your job contributed to your well-being. Most of us would list financial benefits first. Perhaps a sense of satisfaction in making a difference or doing a job well. Maybe the social aspect of your work was important to you. Being part of a team or feeling like you had the security of a “work family.” Or the excitement of being continually challenged with new situations. Understanding what your job brought to your life helps not only during the grieving phase of job loss. It also helps you determine what is important to you as you plan your path forward.
Almost all of us find most of our identities through our work. We are doctors, mechanics, teachers, lawyers, plumbers. Whatever we do is how we lead when asked who we are. That can make the pain of job loss even more unbearable if we identify as our jobs. However, there is a question most of us don’t often ask when we think about our jobs. Do you identify as your occupation, or do you identify with your organization? If you identify as your occupation, it is much easier to recognize that as a set of skills more easily transferred to another organization. If you identify as part of the organization which has just let you go, it can be much difficult to weather the transition if you do not adjust accordingly.
Identify Your Support Network.
Changing perspective is not necessarily an easy thing to do. In fact, some people spend lifetimes trying to do just that. This leads us to the next stage in your transition—seeking the necessary support. I won’t address the core issues such as finance, insurance, or dealing with severance packages in this section. Those are areas at which organizations usually excel in assisting. Instead, I will explore the emotional and social support we require when faced with any monumental change, especially one such as job loss.
One of the most important things you can do to gain perspective is to simply talk about what is happening and how you feel about it. I’m not referring to therapy, although that can help. These should be more exploratory, mindful discussions. A problem often arises when trying to find someone to talk to. Family members might seem to be the first choice. However, they are affected by your job loss as much as you are. They may find it difficult to be impartial or listen in a non-judgmental way. Your next choice would probably be a trusted co-worker or colleague, but the same problem occurs. It is hard for them to be impartial as well, especially if they remain at the organization and you don’t. They may also feel guilty and try to avoid speaking with you. It’s not unusual. It’s simply human behavior—avoid that which makes us uncomfortable.
Perhaps one of the best things you can do during this stage is find a coach who specializes in transitions. Why a coach? Because a coach lets you talk without any judgement or shame. They encourage you to explore possibilities while reflecting on the current situation. A coach is like a sounding board, but one that holds you accountable and keeps you on-track. They don’t rush you to make any decisions, but they do help facilitate the process.
It may sound a bit like therapy, but coaching is forward focused whereas therapy deals with events in the past. A good coach helps you recognize and work through your emotional reactions to the situation. They help you become mindful and proactive rather than reactive, which is priceless as you begin the third stage—designing a path forward.
Create a New Path
Designing your path forward builds on the work you have done during the first two stages of the transition. Choosing a new path can be terrifying or exhilarating. It really depends on your perspective. There are several exercises which can positively affect your mindset and prepare you for an exciting new beginning after you have mourned the loss of your previous position.
The first exercise involves testing self-limiting beliefs. As you start to consider your options, pay attention to your inner voice. Does it constantly whisper, “No, that’s a bad idea.” Or “No, you’re too old” or some other negative comment? These comments are examples of negative self-talk. They are meant to keep you from moving forward into a place that may seem risky but can also lead to new beginnings and positive situations. Again, it’s not unusual, it’s human nature. We are not psychologically inclined to strike out in new directions. The status quo is what we know and where we feel safe even if we are not. Challenging negative self-talk is just one of the ways a coach can help facilitate your transition.
Coaches also encourage you to examine your priorities. As mentioned above, this is a time to explore what your job means to you. How does it bring you joy and light you up? Does it even bring you joy? How can you bring more of that to a new scenario?
One way to do that is to reassess your core values. I once worked for an organization whose values originally matched my own which made my job very satisfying and fulfilling. However, over time their values changed, becoming diametrically opposed to mine which led to a much less fulfilling and more frustrating work experience. Our core values do not only guide the way we choose to live. They should also shape the work we choose to do.
As you consider all your possible options, take the time to envision your future self in various scenarios. Recognize and remove any self-limiting beliefs that keep you from living a life to its fullest. Picture each situation as if you have already overcome the challenges along the way and you are now successful in your new choices. How did you get there? What challenges did you face? How did you measure success along the way? How is your new career fulfilling you? As you envision the situations that are the most intriguing, you are on your way to discovering your path forward. Once you choose the version of your future-self that is most exhilarating, you have the blueprint for creating your best path forward.
There is no question that losing a job, whether through a lay-off, down-sizing, or any other means, is absolutely devastating. And while it takes time to come to grips with the loss, it can lead to a time of excitement and growth. I lost my job when I was nearly fifty. I was shattered, but eventually it pushed me in a new direction in my life and I wouldn’t change for anything. Of course, I didn’t necessarily feel that way as I was going through it.
Transitioning through a job loss is a process and takes time. However, if you allow yourself that time to explore what is truly important to you and how you could incorporate that information into your professional life, you may find that losing your job was the best thing that ever happened to you.
Chris Griffin is an executive coach with over twenty-five years’ experience in corporate senior management. With an understanding of the corporate mindset, business owners’ trials, and human psychology, Chris helps his clients navigate and leverage change within the different stages of their lives and careers. He holds a master’s degree in organizational psychology and certifications in both wellness coaching and workplace wellness.