If you ask one hundred people for their definition of success, you would most likely hear one hundred different answers. Or more likely, one hundred different shades of a similar answer. We all have a personal definition of success but that definition is influenced by our environment and upbringing. In the case of success, I believe it is more a case of nurture rather than nature. We receive a continuous stream of subconscious information as we grow. The definition of success is part of that stream.
For many of us, especially those in the Boomer generation, the attainment of success is tied to material possessions. Merriam-Webster defines success as “a degree or measure of succeeding” or a “favorable or desired outcome: also the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.” And there you have it. The core definition of success for so many people. While each of us might shade our ideal of success a bit differently, for most of us “wealth, favor, or eminence” plays a key role in our definition.
Now, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with financial goals or gain. Financial security makes for a very comfortable life with lower stress levels. But when the acquisition of wealth becomes your driving motivation, chances are very little else will matter. Even the attainment of that wealth wll ring hollow once achieved. It’s the cause of so many mid-life crises. Buying the bigger house, or the better luxury car, or the designer labels won’t satisfy you. They may make life easier or more comfortable, but that’s not really what we seek when we discuss quality of life. That is more a quality of product than quality of life.
This accepted definition of success is the root cause of so many issues for us. You see, our desire for financial success, especially for business owners or those who define themselves by their career, often overshadows the concept of success on a broader, more holistic level. When we subjugate personal values to financial concerns we create friction for ourselves on so many levels. We make it more difficult to make progress toward our goals on a daily basis due to the disconnect between our values–or what we believe matters in life–and the outcome of our actions. If our actions do not support our values, either professionally, personally, or both, we will create constant challenges and roadblocks as the stated outcomes do not authentically align with our beliefs.
As an example, I recently attended a webinar on sales, marketing, and branding. The session was taught by two young men, both in their twenties I would guess. It quickly became obvious to me I was in the wrong place because they spent the first twenty minutes or the webinar sharing their revenue growth over the last year. While revenue is important to any business (let’s be real, you don’t have a business if you don’t have revenue) it is not my primary concern. If I were to define the success of my business simply on my revenue, that success for me would be absolutely hollow. It would mean about as much as my success in the corporate world where I did measure success by title, salary, office size, and percs. Ultimately, that definition left me feeling completely empty.
It wasn’t until I realized helping others make the connection between the health and well-being of their businesses and their own well-being that my definition of success began to feel authentic. After that realization, many of the challenges I faced in building my business felt less overwhelming. When my actions and decisions supported my definition of success, it felt more like greasing the wheels rather than throwing sand in them.
The same holds true for any business or business owner, regardless of the size of the enterprise. If you are struggling in your business or career, perhaps it is time to take a hard look at what you hold as truly important. What actually matters to you in the big picture? Is it helping others? Improving the quality of life for those who work for you? Making a difference in the environment? Because you may acquire all the stuff you want on your road to success, but until you feel like you are making a difference in the world in a way that matters to you, none of that stuff will actually fulfill you. And beyond that, creating satisfaction through your work on a daily basis will be well near impossible.
Finding meaning or purpose in life is intrinsic to our sense of well-being. It is almost impossible to feel deeply satisfied in life without a sense of purpose or meaningful impact. What defines that purpose or impact is completely personal, but it does act as a type of framework work that underpins our personal well-being. And while we may not like to admit it, our work plays a huge role in supporting our well-being.
Some of us may feel we can compartmentalize the different aspects of our lives, but in truth there is a continuous feedback loop between our own well-being and the well-being or our businesses or careers. The idea that we can separate our personal and professional lives simply doesn’t work. We may believe separation is possible, but challenges we face in any domain of our well-being will subconsciously color our attitudes, actions, and decisions when it comes to work, and vise versa.
How many times have you tried to leave a problem at the office only to find yourself thinking about it at home? Probably more often than you would like. Then you try not to think about it, which makes matters worse. However, once we understand that personal and professional well-being are connected–and that we can affect our well-being by aligning actions with values–we will be much more able to easily create a business or career that is both fulfilling and successful on multiple levels.
Chris Griffin is an executive coach with over twenty-five years’ experience in corporate senior management. With an understanding of the corporate mindset, business owners’ trials, and human psychology, Chris helps his clients navigate and leverage change within the different stages of their lives and careers. He holds a master’s degree in organizational psychology and certifications in both wellness coaching and workplace wellness.